Therapist: What's up?"
Boy: My girl friend dumped me. Then she told me she's been cheating on me. We were having an affair?"
Therapist: What kind of affair...sexual"?
Boy: No ...you know."
"Therapist: Making out?"
"Yeah, that's it. And she told me she been cheating on me, many times. I'm furious. My adrenaline has been flowing.I was up all night. I'm a mess."
Therapist:"So you are angry?"
Boy: I am furious.I can't get it out of my mind."
T: What do you tell yourself before you feel angry"?
Boy: "I tell myself I hate cheaters."
T: You need to get over this and move on."
Boy: "I can't. I keep thinking about it."
"What must you do to move on"?
"I have no idea."
"You need to change your thinking. You need to say something different to yourself."
"I don't know what to say."
"Let's explore that. Are there other girls you could be interestd in"?
"Yeah but girls think Iam 'emo'"
""Emotional?"
"Yeah."
"Emo is bad?"
"Not cool."
"All girls think that"?
"Almost all."
"Have you had other girl friends"?
"Yes, lots."
"Soo you could go find another girlfriend."
"I don't go after them. They come to me."
"So girls think you are attractive."
"They like my long hair."
"So what's the problem? "Once they get to know me that break it off."
"How many girl friends have you had in the past two years"?
"About fourteen."
"That's a lot. How may of those didn't think you were 'emo'"?
"Two."
'Two out of fourteen. That's one seventh. If you were a baseball player you'd be batting almost 300. That's pretty darn good."
"I guess."
"There are 1400 students in this high school. How many would be girls"?
"About 500."
"I would think 700. Lets split the difference and say 600."
"OK."
"Of 600 girls, how may would you think are pretty or at least cute."
"About 200."
"OK. one third. Let's say there are two hundrend potential girlfriends but only one seventh won't reject you. That's about 28 girls in this high school with whom you might have a relationship."
"Maybe."
"I want you to start telling yourself three things. The faster you start saying this to yourself and believing it, the faster you will get over your anger and upset and move on."
"This sounds weird."
"Eventually you will do this on your own. For now just trust me and do as I suggest. The three things are: (1)My ex-girl friend is not worth my being upset over her.(2) There are lots of fish in the sea." (3) It's time to move on." I
want you to write these things down and practice saying them every day. I'll see you next week and we'll see how it's going."
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