One tooth less

I take good care of my teeth.I brush after meals. I floss. I visit my dentist, Dr. G. twice a year. He is a perfectionist, to a fault. He never quits. Two hours is a typical session with me. He has large hands. I have a small mouth. I call him Dr. Relentless. He doesn't understand why I complain. "How long would you keep someone in the chair?" I ask. "As long as it takes."

Last week I suffered through an hour and a half of scaling and x-rays. I thought I was home free until he examined the films. He pulled no punches.

"Oh my gosh. This is terrible. You've got a cavity on the root of your last molar. I can't even get to it. I don't know if I can do this."

"You're really instilling confidence. I guess I'll have to have it pulled."

"No, no, no. We'll try. It's always good to try."

He shoved the x-ray in my face.

"I don't need to see it."

It was in a food pocket where I couldn't brush or floss well. He jammed a probe inside and I elevated.

"Why did you do that?"

"I wanted you to see it was really there."

"I believed you."

Yesterday I was back for what I knew would be an ordeal. He took another x-rtay to search for an abscess or nerve involvemenmt.

"If I can save this it will be a miracle."

True, he anesthetized me but an hour and a half of drilling is still no fun. His nurse, Martha, arrived late as usual.

"What are you doing to Marvin?"

"Darned if I know. I can't see a thing in here."

Ten minutes later, despite the anesthesia, I became intimately acquainted with my tooth neurons--every cell body, axon, and dendrite.

"OK, I've exposed it. It's got to come out right away. You really don't need that tooth."

"I don't need my ear lobes either but I prefer to keep them."

He walked me across the hall to the oral surgeon, carrying the x-ray. I asked for a local because I'm a control freak and I might have to fight back.

"It's a tough extraction," Dr. Yankum explained, "right up against a filling in thge next tooth. It's hollow from all the drilling you've just had. It'll probably crack. Several roots. I've got to drill some more and then cut the gum. Very difficult."

"I've heard enough difficult today, doc. Just do it and tell me later. Besides I'm tough. I'm Dr. G's patient."

His nurse laughed but he didn't see the humor. Another hour and a half and the last root was removed. He kept asking how I was doing.

"Marvelously. Just finish. I'll handle the emotional part."

As I left the surgeon's office Dr. G's nurse stopped me.

"Do you want to schedule your cleaning now?"

"Martha, go far away and leave me alone."